The state of my money and my life

Money

We are doing pretty well, better than we ever have, but we could do better. We make more than we ever have, and we save more than we ever have, but we spend more than we ever have too. We still have debt, and we need to work on that.

Life

Things have been different around here lately. I've been a SAHM for 9 months now, and it hasn't been at all what I expected. I am both more at peace with my choices and more worried than I have ever been in my life.

I spend most days trying to come up with ways to keep the baby busy, struggling to keep the house clean, and sneaking in as much bloggy time as I can. I still clip coupons and shop sales. I have a routine for hitting the drug store deals. That's about all I have a routine for, LOL.

I don't have much figured out just yet, but I'm working on it, and I'm going to try to share what I have figured out in the hopes that we can all learn together.

Thanks for stopping by.

Ah, those blues

It's raining here again. It's been raining for about a week.

Some mornings, after my husband leaves for work, I convince Baby Girl she wants to go back to bed just so I can go back to bed. On some of those mornings, I take a quick nap and then pop up and carry on with my day. Usually, though, I end up bringing her to my bed to snuggle and play because I have trouble moving or getting out of bed.

I know, know, that what I need to do is get up, get dressed and have a day. I know that I need to turn off my computer, read a book, exercise, get out of the house at least a little. But what I feel like doing and what I'll feel good doing aren't the same.

I'm reading again, which is good - although my last choice, The Last Time They Met: A Novel
, left me in a horrible funk that lasted for days. Next time, I'll look for something more uplifting. Reading, though, makes me feel more like me. It keeps the days from all seeming the same.

And Baby Girl, who is right now sleeping on my chest because when I put her down, she immediately woke up, turned to look at me, furrowed her eyebrows (she did!), and let out a little whimper that clearly said, "Mommy! This is not going to happen"? She can stay right here with me because nothing makes me feel calmer and stronger than loving her.

Things I've learned this week

The Internet tells me there's an 8 month sleep regression. This in no way helps with the waking every 2 hours, but does assure me that Baby Girl and I aren't (too) weird.

When you sleep in 2 hour spurts, it's hard to maintain a train of thought longer than one sentence.

Coupon shopping is still fun with a baby if you go when the stores are empty. Not so much if you're in line behind 3 people with the world's slowest checker and it's lunch time. And nap time.

Coupon shopping is even more fun when it's for a good cause.

Social networking is fun and addictive.

8 month olds think that 3 year olds at the zoo are far more entertaining than lions.

Coffee makes me a better mommy.

The sun is in fact not a mass of incandescent gas. It's a miasma of incandescent plasma.

Bananas taste much better than peas. That's why they end up in Baby Girl's hair less.

Sunlight gives me energy. And gives my leaves their healthy green color.

Getting back in the swing of things

We are just back from a long weekend away, and it's taking me a day or two to get my life back in the swing of things. I have been plowing through the laundry and the mail, trying to get my budget reconciled, and getting my kitchen restocked.

Some random thoughts to share after 4 days on the road, including a wedding in the middle:

I have a fantastically even tempered baby.

Planning makes trips cheaper and easier.

11 courses at a wedding might be too many courses.

Gas is expensive. Very expensive.

There's no place like home.

More to come! Just glad to be back!

Resolutions

Every year, my resolutions are too ambitious and I can't follow through. This year, my goal is progress, not perfection, so if I can't do all of these things every day/week/month, then my goal is simply to keep improving.

1. Play with the baby every day and do so joyfully.
2. Avoid yelling at my husband.
3. Write at least once a week, whether on the blog, in a paid content site, or just in my journal.
4. Earn at least $20 a week in "extra" cash.
5. Try out one new money making method every month.
6. Reduce monthly expenses by focusing on one major bill each month and exploring ways to cut it.
7. Keep my house clean - try to vacuum, dust and mop entire house at least every two weeks, preferably every week.

What are your resolutions?

Life Update

It's been almost two months since my baby girl was born. I haven't written about it yet because I'm never quite sure how. She's beautiful and perfect, and I'm convinced she's insanely smart and strong (but what mother isn't, really?)

Life continues and every day I figure out a little bit better how to manage things. Flylady has been a help in some ways; having a few routines (I vacuum on Tuesdays, clean mirrors on Wednesdays, swish and swipe every morning) helps to keep me sane and keep my house clean enough by getting things done in little spurts. It also helped to have groceries (and especially diapers!!) stockpiled to so I didn't have to run around buying stuff up, and some meals in the freezer for when I didn't have time/energy to cook. I'd much rather play with or cuddle my little girl than deal with that stuff.

As for the money part, it continues too. I found I can read some deal and freebie blogs with her on my shoulder or in my lap playing, so I'm starting to get back into couponing, but only as much as works for me. I can't easily run to several stores, so the drugstore deals are taking a backseat for a while, and I'm just focusing on one grocery trip on the weekends when my husband is home. I've had to schedule some time into my week to do bills and budgeting too, stuff that used to always just get done whenever, but now wouldn't get done if I didn't make an appointment with myself. So again, things are coming along.

I'm going to start trying to post some money and life tips as I figure them out and experience them, but remember that I'm no expert. I'm just trying to get through and enjoy this phase of life, and I know so many others out there are too.

Getting my life in order

So I've been home from work for about 2 weeks now, and I just started to realize that in that time I haven't done anything. I had piles of laundry, an overflowing to-be-filed box, clutter all over my apartment. I hadn't read started reading any of the books that I wanted to read, and I hadn't written anything. Worst of all, I hadn't had any fun!

So, yesterday I sat down and started to reflect on what it was I wanted to do with my time. I started by writing because that is the way I begin everything in my life. As I was writing and trying to reflect on the things that I needed to do, I found my stream of consciousness turning into lists and the things I wanted to do falling into categories.

1. I wanted to get organized with my money and papers.
2. I wanted to clean my apartment.
3. I wanted to read and write more.
4. I wanted to have fun.

So I decided to dedicate time every day to each of those things, come what may. I set aside an hour for each of the first three: from 2-3 I would have a quiet hour when I would turn off all podcasts, music, and television and just write or read. From 3-4, I would have a desk hour when I would pay my bills, file papers, check my bank balances, balance my checkbook and budget, and maybe apply for a few work at home jobs. Then from 4-5 I would clean: I would empty my dishwasher, fold my laundry, dust, clear off any surface clutter, and do as much deep cleaning as I could do in about an hour. Then I'd be done. I made a separate list (when did I become such a listmaker?) of things large and small that I wanted to accomplish during each time period; some were recurring, some were small scale, some were ongoing. I even made a list of fun things I wanted to do when I had time to play, so that I wouldn't forget and just waste away the time on the Internet or watching TV I don't even like.

It is amazing to me how much has gotten done in just two days of this. I feel more centered and settled, my life feels in order, and I have the whole rest of the day to play, take naps, or do whatever else I want. How liberating! Why haven't I been doing this all along?

Life turnarounds

In the past few months, my life has taken a few major turnarounds. I already wrote about my husband graduating and us moving halfway across the country (again). Since then, I have undergone the following changes

• I had a long term sub job for the past three months, which just ended last week with the end of the school year.
  
  
• We bought a house and will be closing in August.
  
  
• I am expecting a baby in September.
  

So... life is a little different than it was a year ago this time. I'm excited and scared and a little overwhelmed and only just now ready to start unpacking the implications that his has for my money - and a little bit for my life. Jobs and babies and houses and moving, these are things that can take up all of your attention, and often rightfully so. So right now, before the next storm hits, I need to take some time to reflect and to plan. I'm hoping to do some of that here, and if any of it interests you please chime in.

Starting over is harder than it sounds

So every time I say "I'm going to get back to basics" or "I'm going to get things back on track," somehow I find a reason or a way not to do so. If I claim I'm going to start posting or grocery couponing or following a cleaning routine, I manage to keep it up for about 2-3 days tops and then I fail. There used to be an element of accountability associated with posting about it on my blog, but when I wait 3 months between posting I'm afraid I lose my loyal followers and therefore my sense of responsibility to them.

When I worked 40 hours (and sometimes more) per week, I said "Oh, it will be easier when hubby graduates . . . when I don't have to work so much. . . when I live somewhere more permanent . . when . . " but somehow I got to the end of all my whens and it still isn't easy. I'm still saving every month, still contributing, still getting dinner on the table, but I just can't get back into frugality (or into homemaking or into blogging) on a really deep level. I get through the absolute minimum possible and then I put the rest on hold. Instead of having audacious goals and accomplishing big things, I just skate by. I have had students who knew exactly how to do the least possible work and still get a C. . . and I feel like that's where I am with most of my life.

This post was not meant to be so much about the whining, but I have a distinct feeling that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've heard the quote "Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and soon you'll be doing the impossible." Well lemme tell you, I've got necessary down. So how do I move forward?

Getting Settled

I'm finally in my apartment, and I even have all my boxes unpacked. I went to the grocery store, I did laundry. My life is starting to feel normal again.

Not everything is easy, though. Our apartment is smaller, and I'm still looking for places to put everything. I have to check google maps before I go anywhere. I spent 40 minutes on the phone with the cable guy trying to get my service turned on. And I still feel like I don't know what to do with my days while hubby is at work. I know I've always been home all day in the summers, but when he was in grad school, he really only spent 4 or 5 hours at the lab in the summer. Now he's gone for 10 hours at a time. I can do all the laundry, clean, and go to the store, and I still have hours left to fill.

I know I need to get some kind of job, if not for the money at least so that I have something to do, but I don't know where to begin looking. My teaching certification hasn't come through yet and until it does I can't even get on substitute lists. I have a part time job that I transferred, but so far not much work has really come up. I'm considering looking for some kind of temporary or freelance work to fill the gap.

From a budgetary standpoint, we're just fine. Even if I don't make any money at all, we will still have enough money to cover our bills and put some money in savings. But I don't know how to do anything but worry about money and pinch pennies, so that's what I'm going to keep doing.

The ordinary is extraordinary

I've been spending a lot of time quietly reflecting lately and something keeps popping into my thoughts. I keep thinking of something that I wish I'd told my students before I left, especially my graduating seniors. If I had them all in front of me again, what I would want to tell them is

"We keep telling you that you can all do extraordinary things, and I'm sure that you can. But more and more what I realize is that that's not what life's all about, that's not what matters. What matters is that you do the ordinary things in extraordinary ways."

And the more I go over this in my head, the more I realize that it's not the kids so much that I need to tell this to as myself. I am always looking for the big thing that I am going to do with my life, even now, even after years of career and years of marriage, still looking for the thing that I'm going to do that's really going to matter. But I think that I'm missing the point. I think that the truth of it is the essence of simple living that I've been in too much of a hurry to grasp: Everything matters. It matters how I fold my laundry, it matters how I talk to cashiers at the grocery store, it matters how I spend my quiet afternoons. I think everything in my life for a long time has been leading up to this one realization.

I don't need to do something extraordinary to matter. I just need to do everything in my life with care and love.

Errand day and other things I blow out of proportion

The thing I dread more than anything is running errands. I'm not sure why exactly. It's some combination of the driving, the waiting, the being away from home. It fills me with an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Since I hate it so much, I tend to procrastinate my errands until I have a big old pile of them which fills me with even more anxiety.

The worst thing about the whole scenario is that I have ABSOLUTELY no sense of how long anything will have to take. A simple trip to the post office or the bank, and I feel like I need to block out half a day. The grocery store, I have convinced myself, cannot be navigated in less than an hour. I map out complex routes to increase my efficiency, I wait until I have a long, uninterrupted block of time, and then I dive in.

And it's never as bad as I expected it to be.

Don't get me wrong: I still can't stand waiting in line at the post office. I have yet to find a time to go to the bank which is not incredibly unpleasant. But when I finish my errands, I always have - along with a sense of relief and accomplishment - a little voice in my head that says "Oh. That was it?"

I dont' know why I build these things up in my head to be so overwhelming and all-encompassing. I know that I am making myself crazy. And yet, I continue to do it.


So, what's the solution? Do you have any tasks in your life that you blow out of proportion and avoid?

Gruaduation Day

Yesterday was graduation day at the high school where I teach, and since I won't be back next year it felt like graduation day for me too. Right now, I am filled with mixed emotions, maybe even more mixed than those of the graduates. I told several of my seniors, who were the first class I taught 3 years ago when I started, that at my own high school graduation I had expected to cry and then realized that I was in fact ready to move on. One of them came and told me afterwards that I was totally right, that she'd had no need for tears. I, on the other hand, cried buckets.

I don't know if that means that I'm not ready to leave, that I just haven't accepted yet that I'm leaving, that their graduation makes me feel old, that I cried because I'm so proud of them and their many accomplishments (which I am), or just that I'm an old sap and Pomp and Circumstance still makes me get a little weepy like it did for most of my high school career. I've never been especially good at change, and even though I tell myself that I'm ready for this one, it still comes at me all of a sudden.

But yesterday wasn't about me. It was about the graduates, my first little darlings, and all they've learned and achieved. It's scary to watch them turn into such mature and likeable adults (and some not so much), but at the same time it gives me a certain sense of peace and calm. I know that it's time for them to go out into the world, and that they are ready and will do great things. If anyone asks me any time soon why it is that I love being a teacher, the answer will be fairly easy.

I'm so boring (and so are my tips)

Every time I set out with an earnest "This time I'm really going to start blogging again," it turns out to be a bust. I feel overwhelmed, uninspired and just overall not much like writing. I can't build enthusiasm without momentum, or momentum without enthusiasm.

Earlier this week, I read Mighty Bargain Hunter's take on Why frugality tips suck and I really think it hit the nail on the head as to my problem. Any list of tips seems to me to be pedestrian and boring, overdone and repetitive. "Turn off your lights! Use less laundry detergent! Pay off debt!" Anyone who reads frugality blogs already knows what I'm telling you.

But I guess I always knew that. The blogs I like to read either have frequent deals updates or recipes (which I would not be all that good at), or tell a story, let me feel like I'm really getting to know the person on the other end of the blog. So, I know, in my heart of hearts, what it is I need to write. I need to write about my own journey. Sure, there will be frugal living suggestions throughout that, but mostly what I need is honesty.

So, this time, I'm really going to. . .

Oh bother. Oh well, if you're still listening, let me know that you'll make the journey with me.

Why I haven't been posting

6:30 AM - Tumble out of bed. Coffee is ready in the pot, thank goodness (and my timer). Make breakfast (toast from my homemade raisin bread) for self and hubby. Get dressed. Gather belongings. Pour rest of cup of coffee into travel mug.

7:00 - Run out front door. Get to car, realize I've forgotten cell phone, run back upstairs.

7:15 - Arrive at work. Dig through piles on desk, looking for Homecoming essays that have to be judged by this afternoon.

7:30 - Begin entering grades.

7:45 - Meet with NHS officers to discuss new service project

7:55 - School begins. Teach.

3:12 - School ends. Discipline 8th graders then sprint outside for parking lot duty until 3:30.

3:30 - Shuffle middle schoolers into the building for after school care, shuffle high schoolers out of the building.

3:40 - Return to classroom. Read college essay for senior who's been waiting patiently. Tidy desk. Enter grades.

3:55 - Shuffle high schoolers out of building. Again.

4:05 - Get in car. Drive home.

4:20 - Arrive home. Turn on Gilmore Girls. Reheat morning's coffee. Start dinner prep. Start laundry.

5:00 - Husband arrives home. Serve dinner.

5:25 - Start washing dishes.

6:00 - - Sit down on couch. Fold laundry (where does it all come from?)

6:30 - Start grading papers.

8:45 - Make husband's lunch for next day. Set up coffee pot and turn on timer.

9:00 - Fall asleep on couch while trying (again) to watch Heroes from DVR.


Something's got to give.

Rumors of my death are at least slightly exaggerated

I'm still here. I've worked 10 hours a day every day of my three day weekend and then spent hours with friends every evening, playing dominos (my darling husband doesn't seem to notice the truest level of my fatigue). I'm not feeling much more chatty than that, except that I would like to state for the record that I enjoy talking about money MUCH MORE than I enjoy earning it.

I shall return.

4 Lazy ways to be more green (and frugal!)

There is really nothing I enjoy more than being lazy. Sitting with a cup of coffee and a book or taking a nap in the middle of the day are my kind of entertainment. Sometimes, though, I get overwhelmed by all the things I know I should be doing in my journey to make my life more green, and to save a bit of money (so I can work less of course, what other goal would a lazy person have?). The good news is that there are lots of green changes you can make in your life that don't take any effort: in fact, many of them actually require less effort than what you are already doing.

1. Do less laundry. Unless you are exercising or have a job where you have to work in dirt all day long, do you really need to wash your clothes every time you wear them? Instead, assess your clothes and hang them back up if they are still clean. Then, when they are dirty, wait until you have a huge old pile of laundry and do a gigantic load of laundry in cold water, no sorting required. Easy peasy!

2. Cook less. Especially in the summer, it's a good idea not to cook every single night. Turning on your stove uses energy, and heats up both you and the kitchen. Plus, it's a pain. So every so often (or more), have a salad night, a cold sandwich night, or even eat cereal for dinner like you did in college. And once a week have a free-for-all leftover night to make sure none of the good food you paid for ends up in a landfill.

3. Pay your bills automatically. Sure this takes some effort upfront, but it will be one less thing for you to do and to worry about every month from now on. Go online and set your bills up to autopay. This will save paper, save gas for shipping, and save you time and the money for a stamp. While you're at it, make sure your paycheck is direct deposited and your bank statements are paperless.

4. Stay home. Probably the greatest lazy green tip of all. If the mere thought of figuring out bike routes or public transit makes you tired, just think about whether you need to go out and spend your money at all. Stay in, play a board game, eat from your pantry and just chill out on your couch for a while.

The fast pace of life

I can't believe how fast the summer is going by. Hubby and I just got back from spending 10 days with our families and while that usually seems like the upper limit we can tolerate, it seems to have just flown by. Still, by the end, I was ready to be home and to sleep in my own bed again.

So, for the past ten days I haven't worked at all and haven't made a penny. Plus, since we went to another wedding and I had to buy a dress and a gift, we spent a chunk more money. The only thing keeping me from feeling panicked is that I know that I have a somewhat large summer emergency fund sitting in my ING account - which is I guess the best reason to have it.

And life continues to go by. I realize that every time I write about simplifying my life or talk about the little things that bring me joy I say that I want to sit on my porch in my pajamas, drinking a cup of coffee and reading a good book. And yet I don't think I've done that all summer long. So, I'm going to brew myself a nice cup of french pressed organic coffee and spend my afternoon engrossed in a good book (I finished all of One Hundred Years of Solitude during my vacation, and let me tell you - wow is all I can say. Anyone have thoughts or opinions on The Namesake?) Because while I understand living like no one else so that later you can live like no one else, if there's no little joys in your life, it's hard to understand what's worth saving for.

My So-Called Adventure

I'm 27 years old. I'm married, I have a few jobs, I have debt. I have an apartment full of clutter, and I am remarkably inefficient at getting things done around it. I feel tired, overwhelmed, and cranky.

So what I wanted to do this summer, more than anything (well almost anything. staring at a wall did come first) was to have an adventure. It didn't matter to me what I did, or where I went, but I wanted to briefly feel completely irresponsible, and to explore. We won't live in the lovely state that we currently call home (deliciously vague, am I not?) for all that much longer and I wanted to make sure I saw it before we left.

So this weekend we went. My husband's college roommate came down, we got in the car, and we saw 4 cities in about a week. We went site-seeing, ate at restaurants we'd seen on the Food Network, wandered through downtowns, and even went to a friend's wedding in between.

So why was it not satisfying? Why was it not everything I wanted it to be?

I'm not sure what the story is. I am glad I went, I'm glad I can say that I went, and I did have a good time, but by the end all I wanted was to be home and to get my laundry done. I guess I'm more of a homebody than I would like to be.


And because I can't help but mention it, while it wasn't an incredibly frugal adventure, I did manage to get through it relatively inexpensively (hmmm, I guess I fail at irresponsible). We only went places to which we could drive, in our car that gets more than 30 mpg (32 avg for this trip), we shared hotel rooms with our friend (who got one of them for free with his accumulated hotel points), and I even printed coupons for one of the museums we went to. My favorite frugal travel tidbit, though, is that because we researched restaurants, we went to some of the best places in the country - which were often out of the way and inexpensive - and when we did eat at expensive places, we ordered small dinners a la carte, so we could get exactly what we wanted without spending a ton.



But, all in all, I'm glad to be back.

WFMW: Putting away laundry

For this week's Works for Me Wednesday, I thought I'd write about one of my biggest organizational challenges: my laundry.

I always seem to be behind in my laundry. We have a lovely tri-sorter hamper which is almost always overflowing (for just two of us!). For the past year, I've tried to develop a laundry routine to alleviate that. On days when I work, the first thing I do - theoretically - when I walk in the door from school is to start a load of laundry. On Saturdays I wake up and strip my bed to wash my sheets. On Sundays I wash my towels.

It's a great system, and I am mostly able to keep up with them. I'm usually even able to remember when it's time to move the clothes to the dryer. My problem, and my bottleneck, occurs when it's time to fold and put away. I always have clothes in a basket on top of my dryer and I usually also have clothes sitting in my dryer. They get wrinkly, I can't find anything, and the task of going through them all becomes more and more daunting and overwhelming.

In the past week or so, I've been trying a little laundry hack that seems to be making a difference, if only psychologically.

I went through my closet and grabbed all my empty hangers and put them in my laundry basket. Then, when the clothes finished in the dryer, instead of putting them into the basket, I pulled out everything that needed to be hung up and immediately put it on a hanger and hung it over the doorknob. Then the only things that ever even went into my basket were t-shirts, pajamas, and underwear. As I walked out of my laundry room, I grabbed the hung clothes and took them immediately to my closet.

Then in the evening, all I had to do was spend 5 minutes in my bedroom folding the few stray items and putting them directly into drawers. I could wait a few hours, and nothing in the basket would wrinkle. There was no frightening mountain of clothes to dig through. I didn't need to find a place to lay things flat or run back and forth to my closet for hangers.

It may seem like a small thing, but it Works for me