Lazy summer

Usually I start the summer with vast and far reaching goals: make money, write more, spend less, organize/declutter, finish projects, write more, lose weight, exercise more. Then about halfway through the summer I realize I've accomplished almost none of it, and I get extremely disheartened. So this summer I'm setting only one goal for myself.

Be lazier.

Sounds easy, huh? Well, not for me. Somehow I'm no better at being idle than I am at being productive. I'm not working, I'm not in school, my house isn't especially clean and yet I will go through entire days without being outside, and end the day anxious about all the things on my list that I haven't done. What am I spending my time on? I can never remember or tell. Whatever it is, it doesn't bring me joy.

So this summer, I want to do less. I want to forcibly make myself sit and do nothing, or read a book (with permission to stop whenever I want). To eat slowly and taste my food. To sit outside and watch people go by. I'm just going to rest for a while and get off the treadmill, and once I learn how to do that maybe I'll know what it is that I want to do with my time.