Monday, June 15, 2009


I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I no longer work full time. My last week of school was very sad for me, and at the same time very heartening because it showed me that I really had made an impact on other people's lives. Then last week, what with being my first week out of school, felt kind of like a brief vacation. That along with hubby's PhD defense (which he passed! Hooray!) made it hard for me to take the time to adjust and accept the fact that I have a different life now. I think when we move at the end of the summer, everything will be a little bit clearer, but right now I feel like I'm in limbo.

I've never been very good with change, and I'm especially not good with uncertainty. Right now all the change is a little bit overwhelming; I have to decide who I want to be now, and I'm not sure I'll be very good at figuring that out. I don't know how to be a housewife, I don't know how to be anything but a teacher and a student, and I'm pretty sure that I don't want to be either of those just now. Reinventing oneself isn't easy, and I am just realizing that it's something that is worth expending the time, energy and thought for.

Does anyone have any suggestions for what I ought to do, for who I ought to be now?