Starting over is harder than it sounds

So every time I say "I'm going to get back to basics" or "I'm going to get things back on track," somehow I find a reason or a way not to do so. If I claim I'm going to start posting or grocery couponing or following a cleaning routine, I manage to keep it up for about 2-3 days tops and then I fail. There used to be an element of accountability associated with posting about it on my blog, but when I wait 3 months between posting I'm afraid I lose my loyal followers and therefore my sense of responsibility to them.

When I worked 40 hours (and sometimes more) per week, I said "Oh, it will be easier when hubby graduates . . . when I don't have to work so much. . . when I live somewhere more permanent . . when . . " but somehow I got to the end of all my whens and it still isn't easy. I'm still saving every month, still contributing, still getting dinner on the table, but I just can't get back into frugality (or into homemaking or into blogging) on a really deep level. I get through the absolute minimum possible and then I put the rest on hold. Instead of having audacious goals and accomplishing big things, I just skate by. I have had students who knew exactly how to do the least possible work and still get a C. . . and I feel like that's where I am with most of my life.

This post was not meant to be so much about the whining, but I have a distinct feeling that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I've heard the quote "Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and soon you'll be doing the impossible." Well lemme tell you, I've got necessary down. So how do I move forward?

Goals and resolutions

It's that time of year again when we all set goals and resolutions. I have a tendency to overreach, as I think most of us do, and end up frustrated when I can't keep up. This year I'm going to try to be a little bit more moderate in my goal setting, and set some short term and some long term goals so that I can have more of a sense of accomplishment.

1. Post to my blog at least once a week. Blogging used to be a source of encouragement and inspiration to me and I've let it fall by the wayside. Every time I say I'm going to start posting again, I try to post every day and and then give up when I can't think of anything brilliant to say. So, I'm going to post at least once a week this year, whether it's a how to, a check in, or a simple deal or charity post. I just need to keep my hand in it to keep my chops up.

2. Actively pursue gainful employment. I'm hoping to get my teaching certification in the mail by the end of January and then I am going to hit the streets and apply to substitute at every school district in the area. My goal is to be on at least 3 substitute lists by the end of February. I'm already ramping up my tutoring and part time teaching, so hopefully I'll be able to keep up that pace.

3. Increase passive income. I currently make about $1 a month from my Squidoo lenses and about $2 from performance payments on old Associated Content articles. Not exactly enough to retire on. My goal will be twofold: to create at least one new lens and one new article every month, and to try at least one new method of earning passive income every month.

4. Save another $10,000 for a downpayment on a house. Since all of my income goes directly into savings, this should be a cinch if I even maintain my current earning pace. Hopefully I can save even more.

5. Reduce the grocery budget from $300 a month to $250. We had some start up expenses when we moved cross country, but I'm getting my pantry stocked again and hopefully I can get back in the swing of saving.

I know I should probably set some health, clutter, and personal development related goals, but for now five sounds like enough. Please feel free to share your goals in the comments or to leave a link to your resolutions post.

When you have what you want, stop looking for it

Do you know that story that goes around the Internet all the time about the fisherman? You know, the one where the businessman comes down and basically tells him that if he would just work harder he could build a multi-national conglomerate which in the end would allow him to retire, hang out with his friends, and fish a little in the morning. Kind of like he already is.

I don't think I've quite learned that lesson yet.

I'm in a very strange stage of my life. I left my full time job in May, my husband finished his PhD last week, and we're moving at the end of the month. Everything about our financial situation (along with most of the rest of the details of our lives) is completely turned upside down from what it's been for the past few years. My husband makes about twice as much this month as he did last month, and next month when he starts his job he'll make more than we've ever made combined, even when I worked two jobs.

And still I find myself chasing the pennies. On the saving/frugal side, that doesn't bother me because to me frugality is a moral choice as much as a financial choice. On the earning side, however, I think I'm crazy. When I'm home during the day, I find myself trying desperately to be "productive," which often means doing things that add very little benefit to my life. I'm researching ways to make extra money, I'm taking surveys and doing GPT offers, I'm worrying and obsessing over every penny that comes in. I think that if I can just work hard enough, build some income streams, pay off more debt, than I'll be happy. I'll be able to afford to just work part time, to live a simple life, to have more time to cook, to read, to write, and to take care of myself.

Y'know, like I do right now.

The more I reflect on it, the more I realize that the lifestyle I've wanted, the lifestyle I've been scrambling for for the past three years, is the one I already have right now. And instead of enjoying it, of taking advantage of the opportunity - even if it's temporary - to really take time to relax, I'm spending all my time still chasing the money. They say that if you don't articulate where you want to end up, you'll never know when you get there. But I have said it, and I still didn't notice I was here. I don't know if it's just habit, or if it's my fear of change and the unknown, but I have not been willing to accept that I met this goal.

There will be time in the future for more financial goals. We want to have kids, to buy a house, and of course eventually to retire. But there's time for all that. Right now, this month, I want to revel in the simplicity of my own desires and enjoy my small and quiet apartment before the chaos of starting another new stage begins.

Because if I don't enjoy it when I have it, what's the point of working towards it?

On Goals and Purpose

"Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire Cat.
'Which road do I take?' she asked.
'Where do you want to go?'
'I don't know."
'Then,' said the cat, 'it doesn't matter.' "


Something about this passage from Alice in Wonderland has always gotten to me. In high school, I copied it into my notebook. Now I have it hanging on the wall of my classroom. I can feel, in my gut, the truth of it. But I still dont' know which road to take.

When I think about my goals, a lot of the time I'm talking about things like getting out of debt or saving up money. When I go deeper, I want to be able to stay home once my husband gets a job, at least for a little while, or reduce my hours to part time. Why? Because I want to slow down. Simplify. Stop feeling so rushed and panicked all the time.

But the more I think about it, the more I feel like I'm running away from something instead of to something. I'm tired and I'm stressed but that's not a good basis for a major life decision. I don't know what I want to do, what my purpose is, what it is that I'm aiming towards. Maybe though, slowing down, taking more time to reflect, to read and write, to prepare and eat whole slow food, will get me closer to understanding. I figure it's worth a try.

New Year, new goals

I know I'm a little late to the party with the goal setting for 2009, but I thought it a worthwhile endeavor anyway. 2009 is going to be a very strange year for me. My husband will (will!) be finishing grad school this year, which means we will be moving and will both be changing jobs some time mid-year. This affects my goals a lot. Our income will definitely increase a lot, but there is a chance I will be without a job temporarily (although his new income may be higher than our current combined income). I also have to consider short term cash flow issues involved with moving and save accordingly. With all that in mind, in 2009 I hope to:

1. Increase my savings to cover 3-6 months of expenses, plus an extra cushion for moving expenses.

2. Pay off at least one of hubby's smaller student loans. While it may not be our highest interest loan, it will make a much more immediate difference when his loans finally go into repayment and we get those first few bills.

3. Cook more from my stockpile. Since we'll be moving in six months or so, I need to start using things up and stop buying more.

4. Find new ways to generate passive income.

5. Continue to find at least one new way every week to help charities that fit into my time and budget.


Please feel free to share your own goals!

How to achieve your goals, priorities and dreams by defining them

Before we get started, let's get some definitions out of the way:

goal

2 : the end toward which effort is directed : AIM

priority

2 : a preferential rating; especially : one that allocates rights to goods and services usually in limited supply (that project has top priority)
3 : something given or meriting attention before competing alternatives

dream

2 : an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: as a : a visionary creation of the imagination : DAYDREAM b : a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : REVERIE c : an object seen in a dreamlike state : VISION
3 : something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality
4 a : a strongly desired goal or purpose (a dream of becoming president) b : something that fully satisfies a wish : (IDEAL a meal that was a gourmet's dream)

Courtesy Merriam Webster

I've been thinking a lot about goals, priorities and dreams lately. Financial Dominance wrote last week about how it's important to define investment goals, and I completely agree with that. I've been wondering what the goals are for our own investments, I've been wondering about my own career goals, and I've been wondering how all of these things fit into my dreams. How can I define my goals, dreams, and priorities if I don't know what those things are? Where do I begin? Where does it all fit together?

It's really a little overwhelming. As I pondered on this, journaled about, agonized about it, and had a few panic attacks, I came up with a way to think about this that would make all the pieces fit together.

Dreams, the most overarching of the concerns, are also the hardest to define. They have to do with the perfect state, with how things would look if you had everything you wanted. The best way to figure out what your dreams are is to sit in a quiet room and see what you think of. Write, draw, or talk about what your life would be like if you were perfectly happy. This is your dream life, so you can have whatever you want, whether it's a Manhatten apartment or a country cottage, wealth and fame or peace and quiet. What would your perfect state look like?

Goals have to do with the end result, what you want to have in the end. These need to be defined and measurable. "Be rich" is not a goal. "Save $3 million by retirement" is a goal. What measurable end results do I want to see? I wrote down about three of these: "Pay off all debt." "Save $3 million in retirement funds." "Save 20,000 for a house down payment." These goals are pretty far out still, but they give me something to work toward. Your goals will be based on moving toward your dream, but will be realistic and concrete steps along the way.

As far as money is concerned, priorities have to do with how you would allocate something in limited supply (whether it be time or money). If I could do only one thing with money, what would it be? If I could do a second thing with money, what would it be? I took out a notepad and just started listing. My priorities had to do with what is important to me on a day to day basis (food, visiting family, etc) and with what I need to do to achieve my goals. I made this list longer than the amount of money I have each month; if I'm short on money, where can I stop? If I have extra money, where can I go forward to?

Once I've done this, I feel much calmer. I know that I'm making positive decisions with my money that will get me toward the perfect life for me, and I notice what I've been spending my time and money on that don't add value to my life.